Daily Surrender Everything To God


Psalm 116:1  I love the Lord, because he listens to my prayers for help.  He paid attention to me, so I will call to Him for help as long as I live.

When our oldest daughter Carly was 4, she prayed constantly for twins.  She wanted them to hold each end of her jump rope.  I did not believe it was possible since I had a hard time getting pregnant with Carly.  We really believed that Carly would be our only child unless we could adopt.  We were thinking about adoption at this time.  Several months later I went to the doctor to have a pregnancy test done.  The doctor ordered an ultrasound.  I had already told him that Carly had been praying for twins.  Jerry and Carly were able  to see the ultrasound with me.  The tech called the doctor in.  The doctor leaned down to where Carly was standing and told her first that she was going to be a big sister to twins.  Carly looked at the doctor and told him as serious as she could “I know that, I have been praying for them.” I remember thinking then that I hope I always have the faith of a child like the Bible says we should have.  Carly definitely had the faith that she would have siblings.  When God showed up, God showed out!  He gave us two sweet babies at one time. 

Casey and Caleb were born on August 28, 1996.  Casey was born first mainly because Caleb kicked him out quickly.  Casey was a healthy baby.  Caleb was breech. We joke that is what gave him the power to kick Casey out.  Caleb did not want to be delivered headfirst.  They delivered Caleb feet first.  He was in neonatal intensive care for 13 days when the doctor did an ultrasound on Caleb’s head.  The ultrasound showed a bleed in his brain.  This was my worse nightmare that something was now seriously wrong with my baby.  This was the beginning of a long battle.  Caleb started having seizures.  They had to operate to get rid of the spinal fluid and blood that was building up in Caleb’s brain.  The blood in his head was continuing to get worse.  It was at this point the worst bleed that you could have.  The surgeon put a shunt in Caleb’s head which failed within a day.  Caleb had to have surgery again to remove that shunt and put in an external drain.  An external drain is like a shunt that comes out of his head and drains into a bag. For the most part, this meant that Caleb had to lie flat in the bed so that everything could drain off his head.  During this surgery the doctor had to give Caleb several bags of blood.  After this surgery, Caleb was given Morphine for his pain.  He completely gave up and stopped breathing several times within a couple days after surgery.  A couple of times I was standing over him and praying when he stopped breathing.  The nurses had to bring him back to life.  Several days later we learned that Caleb had developed staff infection in his brain.  Another nightmare!!!  My life was spinning out of control.  We were in the process of moving.  Our house was being shown constantly.  It finally sold but we were not ready to move.  Caleb was still critical.   We were moving to Tennessee where my husband Jerry could work a smaller sales territory.  We were hoping that this would allow him to be home more.  On top of all this, Carly started kindergarten a few days after the boys were born.  I was leaving my newborn baby (Casey) at home 6 weeks with his dad and then 3 to 4 weeks with my mother-in-law while Caleb was in the hospital.  Casey was healthy and was released from the hospital 4 days after birth.  I had an extremely difficult time leaving my new born at home.  I knew that I needed to be bonding with him.  I was missing out on extremely special times.  I left home everyday filling an entire lake with my tears. When I returned home in the evenings, and spent time with Casey, he had extremely bad colic. He cried for hours at a time. I had to trust God that He had a plan.  My days consisted of driving Carly to kindergarten and filling up another lake with my tears after dropping my baby off.  Again, I had to trust God that He would take care of her. One day after going through another extremely stressful morning, I arrived at the hospital to find several people standing over Caleb.  He was screaming his lungs out.  The lab tech needed to draw blood daily and this particular day Caleb had no 

Caleb with his external drain. The bag was collecting blood and spinal fluid from his brain.


more blood to give them.  They had tried multiple times and still could not get any.  His pic-line was not working and they were drawing blood the regular way.  I felt so helpless.  There was nothing I could do about it but stand there helpless and listen to him scream.  After everyone had left, I stood over him and put my hands around his face and started sobbing uncontrollably.  I told God that I knew that his word said that He would not give me more than I could handle but I could not handle anymore.  I pleaded with God to take Caleb to heaven or heal him.  I reminded God that I was physically, mentally and spiritually drained, empty, and completely helpless.  What I was really doing was completely giving my life and all my problems over to God.  I needed God to show up in my life and take completely over.  I have since learned that I not only need to humble myself when I need God to do big things but I need to humble myself before God on a daily basis.  One week after praying that, Caleb was released from the hospital.  We left the hospital and drove to our new home in Tennessee.  Caleb had several more shunt failures between the ages of 1 and 6.  At age 7 he had 10 shunt failures or shunt infections within 3 months.  We lived in the hospital during Christmas.  It was a very difficult time being in the hospital with Caleb and not being able to spend Christmas day with my other children.  We were living in Montgomery, Alabama at the time and Caleb and I were in Atlanta.  God saw us through another extremely difficult time.  The good news is that Caleb has not had any brain surgeries since December 2003.  He is happy and relatively healthy.  He has Cerebral Palsy and seizures but he is alive and extremely loving.  No one demonstrates the love of Christ better than a special needs child.  We still have difficult days with him but his unconditional love conquers our hearts.

Psalm 138:7 Lord, even when I have trouble all around me, You will keep me alive.  When my enemies are angry, you will reach down and save me by your power.

If you are going through an extremely difficult time, totally give it to God and believe in his power.  He is capable of doing anything and there is nothing he cannot do.  May God Bless You Always, Diane

Categories: Encouraging Stories.

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